Such is a TVholics Life

This holiday weekend I opted to have a bit of a marathon of Hancock's Half Hour. Not familiar with the genius that was Tony Hancock??? Well, for those non-Anglophiles out there, he is touted as one of the best comedic giants to rise from Britain. He's caustic, witty, self-deprecating and just all around freaking hysterical. So head over here to pick yourself up the most complete box set of his legendary show, unfortunately a lot of the episodes were lost to improper preservation

So just to wet your appetite, here's a clip of an episode I had never seen before and could totally relate to. Enjoy!

Happy Turkey Day: My Big Redneck Wedding

First off, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the US. For those overseas readers who aren't familiar with the holiday, it's a day of gluttony and sloth for the most part. We all gather around dining room tables brimmed with enough food to feed a village in Africa with friends and family, gorging whilst giving thanks for whatever it is we might be thankful for. Over here at TVholics, we are thankful for having just discovered last night CMT's My Big Redneck Wedding! Sure we are also thankful for the usual things like our friends, having a roof over our heads in this economy, not losing the remote, still being able to afford satellite TV, so o our discovery was just the icing on the cake really.

In case you had any doubt what the show is like, it's a bit Bridezilla mixed with a big dollop of the Beverly Hillbillies. Tom Arnold plays host to it all and you have to love his running commentary during the show as he pops up on the screen with snarky banter. Each episode, we meet a new couple who are planning their dream wedding but in these cases, instead of pristine tuxedos and bridesmaid dresses or a banquet room filled with overpriced flowers and accouterments, they are after camouflage accessories, homemade party favors made from shotgun shells, makeshift jacuzzis that are basically tin bathtubs atop a makeshift BBQ pit, you get the idea and no I'm not making this stuff up!

The episode I caught was centered around Shawna and Vince and their 5 children living happily ever after in Sprague, Washington. Turns out this was the season two finale. Who would have thought that a garden rake could also be used to help make a family dinner?? Was it just me or did anyone else watching this debacle think that it was actually kind of clever when they spiked hot dogs into the tines of the rake to expedite cooking. Mind you, this was after they finished using the same rake to clean up after their dogs!!! Their wedding ceremony actually included the symbolic mixing of water and dirt to make mud which they promptly dived into together. The happy couple also found time after the wedding to present tokens of their love for each other, namely a Craftsman tool box for him and Vince's late grandfather's shotgun for her! Gives a whole new meaning to a shotgun wedding, don't it? Somehow I never pictured a newlywed groom handing over a shotgun as a token of his affections for his bride before but I guess it just goes to show you love is a many splendored thing!

So if you have nothing better to do this long holiday weekend, why not gather the clan and sit down to this rollicking feel good reality show. Who knows it might just prompt one of your guests to pop the question?

Breaking News: Attacks on Mumbai

I'm not one to make political posts or just to report on the news. But the tragedy in Mumbai has shown me a new way to get the latest news and it's partly from live streaming news channels in this case for the best live video coverage go to NDTV. But if you are looking for a up to the second commentary and updates, it's Twitter all the way. This day may just mark a revolution in how people get updates in times of an emergency be it a natural disaster or terrorist attack. Today even the big news agencies have been scouring Twitter to get up to the minute updates. It is now the residents of cyber world who are reporting and sharing stories, photos, updates on what's really occurring and all in real time (Sure you might get carpal tunnel from clicking the refresh button so often but we are talking instant gratification in less than a few seconds!)

The mainstream media such as CNN, FOX and MSNBC are just so Western-centric. All they have been reporting is that there are accounts that American citizens might be held hostage in the hotels or that the US Consulate is safe and secure. Let's pay no attention to the hundreds who are injured and the dozens that are dead because none of them are from the good ole US of A. I found this great post from a person on Twitter that illustrated how Fox had already produced an intertitle teaser of horror against the Western world which I am sure was accompanied by an ominous orchestra. Michael Moore, where are you when we need you???

Coming Soon - Little Miss Perfect

I was watching an episode of WE's Secret Lives of Women, Polygamy Cult this afternoon. Some fascinating and scary shit, let me tell you. Those Mormons are some whacked people not that any of us Californians didn't already know! One guy was father to 54 children!!! 54!!! That's more than one birthday a week!!! Obviously not all with the same mother (he's Mormon after all so he had 5 wives, some of which were sisters, EW!) but back to what happened during the commercial break.

For whatever reason I didn't skip through the ads, so I was half listening to the plugs for Cash4Gold. I've always wondered do people really send in their rings, watches and teeth in hopes of getting a check for their now dearly departed trinkets. Weren't ads like these a clue to the impending global financial meltdown that is now occurring, but I digress. Back to the attention grabbing moment - Coming soon.... (wait for it)

Little Miss Perfect!!! A reality show looking at the even more disturbing than the man with 54 children world of child beauty pageants!!!!! "Must see viewing!!" I shouted. "When? Where?" were my next exclamations. The answer for you sadist TVholics out there like me: Little Miss Perfect begins airing on the WE channel on February 17th. I know way too long to have to wait for this train wreck but you know it will be worth it. Didn't this country and the media learn anything from Jon Benet Ramsey??? It's just so wrong but that's what makes it so damn appealing! And yes that "Judge for Yourself" image is the official banner for the show thus far!

Trust me, I WILL be watching this religiously because I have a morbid curiosity for anything that should really belong in a freak show. This show sounds a lot like a documentary I saw on HBO a few years back called Living Dolls.. I remember a friend had taped it for me and labeled the tape "Sick Kid Pageant." Basically, it followed several little girls and their families in the quest for the almighty crown. The main focus though was on a little girl, Swan Brooner. Your heart goes out to her and I have always wondered what happened to her. In doing a little research on child pageants for this post, I found this site where I discover that I am not alone in my curiosity of Swan. In case you are wondering, yes that picture is of the hard-working Swan from the documentary back when she was 6!!!! I guess the Chinese should have made up their gymnasts like this and no one would have questioned their age!!!

It's an absolutely disturbing world that these girls participate in. The parents themselves are just despicable for the most part. All of them reiterate ad nauseum that the girls want this and how these narcissistic parades boost self esteem. In a few cases little girls are forcing the them into it. Sorry, but I find it ludicrous and unimaginable that a four year old is really demanding on having a pageant coach, voice coach, fake tan, extensions, hot curlers prodding their scalps, using fake teeth, etc... Honestly, I can't see a mother or father just saying, "Yes, Bambi, let me just get that new rhinestone studded cowgirl jacket that costs $1200? It will help make you a strong woman one day as you twirl it with your winning smile during pro-am?" (For those of you not familiar with the term, pro-am is some weird "modeling" part of many child pageants where the girls don country western gear usually involving lots of bling and fringe! Think mini-Dolly Partons and you get the picture)

But it's not just the parents to blame, there is a whole child pageant indutry that includes the aforementioned coaches who are like drill sergeants, voice coaches who actually think that a five year old should be singing torch songs, photo retouchers who will make your toddler look like they are in their teens. I think you get the picture.

So mark your calendars or send yourself an evite for February 17th, 2009, 10:00pm/9:00 Central for Little Miss Perfect on WE.

UPDATE: As I have received many hits from people trying to find out what song is featured on the commercial for this show, I finally managed to record it so I could hear it. I thought I too would be stumped by the tune but was pleasantly surprised to find it was just the iconic hit from the 80's by The Psychedelic Furs called Pretty in Pink. The song served as inspiration to the John Hughes' classic of the same name. I always figured this little diddy was well known but I guess not. Hope that sheds some light on it for you. I'm still counting down the days until this train wreck hits the screens.

It's Better Than Cats - Rick and Steve, The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World

Sorry for the long hiatus but things needed to be tended to. So, don't be thinking I gave up on my addiction, I'm not a quitter like that. If anything, TV helped to comfort me through some pretty dark times over the last month or two and it didn't hurt that some of that TV watching was done across the pond in London. But as usual, I digress, so let's get this show back on the road, huh?

One of THE bright spots of my latest viewing pleasure has to be the return of one of the best, funniest, most politically incorrect, ingenious animated shows ever created. No, not The Simpsons, which I will agree is one of the classics of the genre and I'm not talking about South Park either. I'm referring to Rick and Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World!!!! What, you haven't heard of this show before? Well, make sure your cable provider offers LOGO. If they don't, then take your business elsewhere because it will be well worth it because frankly when a show has titles like "Bush Baby," "It's Raining Pussy" and "Guess Who's Coming for Quiche," how can you resist???

In a nutshell, this cartoon series (well they really aren't cartoons but Lego-like figures) takes place in the fictional "gay ghetto" seaside town of West Lahunga Beach, where rainbows always shine and people are often breaking out into song and dance , not unlike my local Trader Joe's but that's another story.

Steve, a real estate agent and fitness freak, and Rick,a Filipino American homemaker and computer programmer with a slight OCD issue, are, of course, known as "the happiest gay couple in all the world" but more often than not just like any other relationship they have their ups and downs but that doesn't mean they aren't happy. Some of their spats do include Rick getting jealous about Steve keeping an old jock strap of one of his past conquests or Steve not including Rick in his midnight porn viewing but hey we can all relate in one way or another. They are for the most part, the cliched upwardly mobile 30-something gay couple. Hell, they even are cat owners. Pussy (I nearly spit out my drink when I heard Rick calling for her in the pilot) is an entity all to herself (check out the picture to the left if you should doubt me).

Rick's best friend is Kristen, a lipstick lesbian who runs the aptly named sex toy shop, Chick Sticks. Her partner, Dana, is the butchest of bull dykes who hates men but in particular Rick and Steve. Kristen has decided that conservatives and crackwhores shouldn't be the only ones to breed so she asks Rick for some of his sperm over dinner one night, as you do. To make it a more united effort, Rick and Steve decide to mix their "donation" together in a shot glass and then hand it over to Kristen, but Dana, who is not that keen on the whole idea, accidentally spills the glass on their way home and through three layers of denim and her anti-sperm uterus, she winds up preggers. (The abortion hotline episode is a tear inducing side splitting comedic triumphant, you really should check it out! Not only is Dana's reaction to the baby news hilarious but we get to meet Steve's evangelical parents who are oblivious to their son's sexuality and mom's impending surgery can not be beat!)

Now that you have an idea what the show is about, season 2 opens with Dana in labor and the whole dysfunctional framily gathered around her hospital bed waiting for the imminent birth. I never thought I would live to see a show open with a musical tribute to the benefits of sperm but it's happened. What other show would actually be daring enough to open its sophomore season with "Sperm, sperm it's a glorious term!"

To add to the already terrifying prospect of Dana becoming a mom, it turns out that her labor has become a You Tube sensation when Evan, the pill popping 30+ year younger partner of Chuck, Steve's best friend, a cranky curmudgeon who is paralyzed from the left testicle down as well as being HIV+, decides to record the birth but winds up setting his zoom lens a little too high and somehow ends up with a very up close and personal shot of Dana's baby while still in utero. One viewer likened it to "Cloverfield in the va-jay-jay!." With Evan's new found "celebrity," he gets invited to the mother of all blogger conventions, ComBlowMeCon 2.0 where he gets to meet Arianna Huffington, Perez Hilton and Trent from Pink is the New Blog.

There you have it. I won't reveal what sex Dana and Kristen's baby is or even who the baby daddy is. So what are you waiting for??? Go check out Rick and Steve, airing every Tuesday night on Logo at 10pm ET/PT and if you want to catch up on Season 1, you can order it here.