But Wait There's More - The Wearable Towel aka the Summertime Snuggie

Yeah, we know we have been on a bit of a summer hiatus these last few weeks. Don't blame us for the lack of any decent telly on the tube these days. It's gotten so bad that we are watching I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and are just too stunned to even find the words to write about that clusterfuck.

But today we came across the "Why the F*** Didn't We Think of That?" moment. After all temperatures are starting to go on the rise along with gas prices, so your trusty Snuggie has been put in the closet for a few months but you are wanting something that you can wrap around yourself and still be able to go out in public while looking chic. We have the perfect solution: The Wearable Towel! Apparently, all of those towels we have been using for the last few centuries were not appropriate as outerwear. We like to think of this as the Summertime Snuggie. We kind of miss the camp fire family in the infomercial.

So what are you waiting for! Order now!!!! And in case you're not sure how to use it, it comes with free instructions if you call in the next 10 minutes!

American Idol - Who won the crown

In a showdown of the likes that haven't been seen since the Crusades, Prince Kris slayed King Adam to be proclaimed the eighth American Idol. How are we coping with our dear Glambert's demise? We're okay with it because like some of his predecessors who were predicted to win like Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry and Clay Aiken, Adam will be around for a long time to come. So congrats, Kris and see you next year.

American Idol - And then there were two

It's that horrible time of year when American Idol comes to a close. I never like the last performance show because of the usually lame and boring song that is made for the winner so it is with a heavy heart that we tune in to watch King Adam do battle with Prince Kris for the last time.

Kris wins the coveted spot of going second. I never really understand how this affects the show but whatever. Let's get down to business. Both start with their favorite previously performed songs. Adam opts for Mad World which was a total show stopper the first time and seems to be the same this time. The boy just goes on stage and works it and what shows why he is the true professional is because he always thanks to the band. Does he do anything wrong??? Kris comes out and does Ain't No Sunshine and it's just as unremarkable for me as it was the first time. As my partner in crime described Kris, he's like the amazing buskers you see down in the Underground in London who are fantastic performers looking for a chance but just don't have that it factor.

Simon Fuller makes the second song choice selection. Adam gets Change is Gonna Come and with an entirely new look hits the stage and shows his diversity. Kris was selected What's Going On and once again it was safe and nice but not wow.

The third and final song of the evening is the American Idol inspirational song of the year, No Boundaries, which was co-written by Kara. I hate this part of the whole competition and even Adam seems to be struggling with this tripe but once again makes it his own. Let's face it there's not much anyone can do with these songs of hope, dreams and contrived feel good lyrics. Kris' turn and it starts off a little rough and continues its bumpy road and much like his other songs tonight, it's just meh.

Who do I think should win? Well, duh, Adam, of course, but I have a horrible feeling that the media has politicized the whole finale and made this more of the straight all American boy versus the gay individualist. According to Dial Idol, it's a close call with Kris being proclaimed the winner by an ant's fart but like I have said before it doesn't matter if Adam wins or loses, he's set for life.

So who do you think will be crowned winner at the Nokia tonight???

American Idol - It's the Final Countdown

I know I flaked on recapping last night's show. I am still a bit pissed off about Allison getting kicked off. I did, however, watch the performances last night and Adam rocked it as usual despite me not being that pleased that he opted for for what I think was an obvious choice but at the same time I think he might have gone with Aerosmith just to show Danny how it's supposed to be done. Speaking of Danny, I hate to admit but he can sing well but between the horrid white boy dances and him picking of his own volition, Joe Cocker's You Are So Beautiful, I still don't like him. Kris rocked the hell out of Kanye West's Heartless but as my viewing partner said, "Who is this guy because I couldn't tell you one song he did all season?" I actually agree with him even though Kris has stepped it up each week, he's still forgettable and safe for the most part. If you don't want to know who went home tonight, don't read any further.


Who got the coveted top two spots for next week's finale at the Kodak? I won't bore you with a recap of tonight's show because frankly I don't feel the need to waste your time like the producers over at Fox. I got my wish and Danny is going home FINALLY! Definitely, a week too late but at least he's out and I have a feeling that Adam will be a shoo in to win now but you never know. I still maintain that he might have a bigger and better career if he doesn't win but either way we will be seeing him for some time to come.

So how do you feel about the final two contenders??? We'd love to hear from you

American Idol - That's It, I'm Done

After tonight's results show, I am thinking I might just be done with American Idol. I know an idle threat (no pun intended) but seriously, is it just me or does this feel like a 21st version of the famous Twenty One game show being fixed!!!! Danny is safe and Queen Allison is going home. Did we all just enter into the Twilight Zone or was the swine flu propaganda just distracting the world while secret sonar weapons were used to make us all deaf??? I'm just too pissed off to even write any more.

UPDATE: This is my theory. The only reason Allison went home instead of Danny is because producers didn't want us to be afflicted by that horrid scream again during his good bye performance. That is really the only rational explanation I have for this travesty!

UPDATE 2: Upon reflection, Allison looked as though she knew what was going to happen during the whole show, which leads me to also believe that she got herself a record deal which would be fantastic.

The Biggest Loker - VOTE OFF SIX TITS!

I have just learned that over on The Biggest Loser the vote is between Ron and Mike to get to the finale. My DVR decided to only record the first two minutes so I am frantically trying to find it online to watch.

I haven't loved that many people this season. I don't feel any of them were getting the message what with the black team's gorging trip to the spa (Tara, you really disappointed me that week.) Then Filipe and Sione who just unnerved me from day one and when the tears started raining down because they couldn't train with Bob, I just wanted them out. But Ron aka Six Tits proved to be the last straw for me this season and for once I found myself hoping that Filipe would make it to the final four instead of this idiot. I am so sick of his whiny candy ass groveling for sympathy all the time. Sure he's lost the equivalent of a middle aged woman but what a two headed snake he turned out to be. I get why he was so fat now. He's just greedy with everything. I do understand that he was fighting for his son, Mike, all along but too many worthy players like Kristen were let go too soon because of him. So I implore you all go to NBC and develop some carpal tunnel to eliminate Ron from the running and keep Mike in the finale and I am really hoping that Tara wins the whole thing and if not, then Helen.

American Idol - The Quartet

It's quickly nearing the end of American Idol 8 and we are finally down to the final four and better yet, it's rock night. I have zero fears for my reigning royal favorites, Adam and Allison. Kris and Danny, however, might just finally be in some serious trouble with the latter going home if I had my way.

On to the show....

Apparently tonight's taping was filled with mishaps so the final four didn't get a proper dress rehearsal so this should be very interesting indeed. The mentor for RNR week is none other than bad ass top hat wearing Slash from Guns N Roses and Velvet Revolver. Sure, he's not known as a singer but he's one hell of a musician and natural performer. A far better choice than Quentin Tarantino, don't you think??

Adam is up first and picks Led Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love. BRILLIANT CHOICE!!!! It would have been too obvious to pick a GNR song so why not go with the original bad asses of rock. Sheer AWESOMENESS!!!!!! America we have our winner and it's Adam! Sure he excels at any genre he does but this is where his passion comes out the best.

Allison hits the stage with Janis Joplin's Cry Baby. Another brilliant song choice. Adam and Allison just get it. They know what song to pick, how to perform it and kill it week in, week out. Of course, people will say she was just doing an impersonation but as we have seen that's her voice and there is no denying that she has that old soul blues voice just like Janis. And she's only 17!!!! SEVENTEEN!!!!!

Before we get to the final two performances, Kris and Danny do the first duet of the night, Styx's Renegade. I have never heard this song before and frankly, don't wish to ever have to experience it again. It was a hot mess! I do like to see that I had the same idea as the producers to do a rock duet, namely, for Allison and Adam's sake. I would love if they did Ozzy Osbourne and Lita Ford's If I Close My Eyes Forever. That would be amazing.

Kris recovers from that trainwreck of a duet with Danny. I'm not sure that I am crazy about his song choice, The Beatles' Come Together. It was a decent performance but nothing memorable for me. I hate to say it, Kris, but I think you might just land in the bottom two tomorrow night.

Is Danny freaking serious choosing Aerosmith's Dream On????? Sure he has a raspy voice but he has nowhere near the vocals that ballad requires. Awful!!! My ears burn. It reminded me of those office parties where John in accounts gets up on stage after his department begs and pleads for him to do his favorite karaoke tune and the rest of the party just watches cringing inside. Adam could have done this song and made it amazing but nope, Danny, I know it's time we show you the door and after your smug reaction to Simon, don't let the door hit you in the ass. Forget the swine flu, Danny's performance just managed to do permanent damage to millions of eardrums around the globe!

Adam and Allison's duet closes the show and it's Free's Slow Ride. Not sure I am that happy with the song choice but if anyone can make this amazing, it's them. It felt more like a jam than a contrived talent show duet. Good job, kids. I bet Danny is seething backstage after his hideous attempt to parody Adam.

So get thee to the phone lines and develop some carpal tunnel for King Adam and Queen Allison and while you are at it throw some votes Kris' way. It's time Danny goes home! I am fearful though because Vote for the Worst is backing him so please people help take the Gokey out of Idol!